Manchester United players must be more ‘horny’, says Louis van Gaal

Manchester United ‘s struggles this season can be explained in a lot of ways.

There’s the string of sleep-inducing goalless draws at the once mighty fortress Old Trafford, the putrid finishing in front of goal, underperforming summer signings (they paid how much for Memphis Depay?!), Wayne Rooney starting to show his age and on and on.

Just when you think there’s enough excuses to fill Louis van Gaal’s comically large notepad, the Red Devils manager came up with one more ahead of United’s must-win return leg vs. Midtjylland in the Europa League: The players are not “horny” enough.

Yes, you read that correctly. Asked in Wednesday’s press conference whether or not United need to match the Danes’ desire on the pitch, van Gaal responded with the passion he so clearly would like his players to reciprocate:

You are right. Your word is fantastic. Desire! Hungry! I often use the word ‘horny’ with my players.”

Woah! That was delivered with some gusto.

Now, we’re not sure how exactly one decides to “be more horny,” but Juan Mata seems to know exactly where he’s getting at.

So Thursday night should be interesting.

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